Monday, August 31, 2009

A vent.

Well. Seeing as this blog is dead, I'd like to keep it that way (less effort required to maintain.)

However, since the last 2 weeks (and this week) have been/will be an utter hell of events, let's take some time to vent our anger.

Firstly, there's a guitar concert coming up; 2 songs more to learn in a week's time. Dead.



Next, there is also a rather important Japanese exam coming up soon. That falls on 3 days. Non-consecutive. With the schedule juggled around 4 times already. That also counts for 100% of the whole year's marks. Crazy.

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無限の~です!
はははハははハはははハハ!
Now if only I dared to write that in the paper itself...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Greatest apologies.

Great. Down with flu-like symptoms. This means my brain will overheat if I Project any more thoughts into this reality. The standard, or indeed presence of posts will be reduced or nullified, depending on the outcome of this skirmish between virus and medichine. (not a typo)

A huge apology to the Al-air battery group at school. 39.1C fever means I will be generating more sparks than the battery. On the other hand, if I did turn up, you could use the battery to prod me like Frankenstein's monster if I collapse.

Friday, July 17, 2009

On Intuition.

Events of the past few days have been somewhat central to my understanding of how things are supposed to work and why they never do. The problem lies not in the things about us, but hinge about the things in us. Quite specifically, a key problem is intuition.

Yes. Intuition and instinct, the non-rational (note: not irrational) component in us that is dismissed as a happenstance phenomenon by our logical minds. It stands to reason that what doesn't stand to reason stands to be reasoned to be a "Phenomenon" not worthy of great intellectual rigour, merely to be accepted as fact or fable, depending on what one wants to argue. What most rational beings fail to consider is that this component deserves not to be overlooked but to be looked upon, as a cornerstone of the foundation of the building of thought. Despite the apparent unreliability, inexplicability and ineffability of one's intuition, it fully demands that we tend to its offerings and act as per it.

Well, I'm not extolling on intuition's reliability, nor attempting to explain nor eff the inexplicably ineffable. Merely making an honest observation on how it affects life.

Firstly, the obvious use of intuition. To render luck in one's favour, maintain credence in a belief of luck. To do so, rely not on ruthless logic but on gut feel, and there will be the illusory feeling of luck at the very least. Intuition trumps logic the same way bicycles trump jet fighters: one of them is a hell lot more accessible and user-friendly. (For that matter, an extended analogy is Apple > Microsoft.)

Next, a less obvious apparition of intuition. Language. One learns languages from the ground up (no other groundbreaking approaches I've heard of, like starting with rhetoric and proceeding to grammar.) So we first become aware of the existence of the noun, the verb and the participle. Then we learn a whole new way of mixing them up, grammar. It's not "Book is a on shelf that" but "A book is on that shelf", although rules can be warped into other patterns, "like ancient tablets, on which inscribed are symbols, foreign to eyes of modern" but still perfectly grammatical.

The point being, that however odd or convoluted the grammar, the brevity or length of the word, as soon as one is accustomed to using it, there's no further need to acknowledge, consciously, the rules of language. One just surfaces the polished product at the end, having sent the package through a subconscious construction. The rules of language become embedded in an instinctive, intuitive layer of one's mind. When that occurs, it seems simplicity itself to use language, rather than struggle over conjugation, form and structure.

Yet, alas, few manage to perceive or even be aware of the third layer of intuition. Once applied, it saves time in life. Similar to language, the syntax of intuition can be deciphered. Repeated actions, repeated sights, repeated exposure can lead to imprints on the subconscious strata of the mind. Punch a wall repeatedly, and eventually you'll know the pain of the wall, not of your fist. See the patterns on a chessboard repeatedly, and you'll see how and why it works, despite the principles remaining murky. Stay in the winter's chill for weeks, and at the end lies not chill, but winter's warmth.

Application is far more difficult, of course. If your state of mind is right (if you feel that everything in the world on that day, is yours, will be yours) and the subject resonates to you, achieving that level of instinctive aptitude is a matter of days if not weeks, weeks if not months, months if not years. Observe and admire not the details but the feel of a subject, and accept it as your own.

This even works for maths. I don't know if this really works for anyone but me, but I like memorising/factorising car number plates. How? Don't remember 4-digit numbers (e.g. 6495 = sixthousandfourhundredninetyfive) but as a string of vowels, the feel of a number (... how to write this? Trying to explain, 495 is a 'dry' number, 64 a 'mellow' number and 95 a 'sticking-out' number, remember the feel of the groups. And no, I don't know why I assign those tags.)

Whatever it is, some people also have natural talent. Either in the form of genius (grasping immediately concepts far past their level, able to explain it out) or the unsung 'genius' (possibly negative - I know one who can, pretending or not, consistently pick out the worst chess move in critical situations. Failing that, generic bad moves.) Developing those should be easier than for others who have to discover their resonance.

Also, intuition only gets one so far. True mastery of anything takes many, MANY long hours of studying (in order to beat the crazy people who studied before them) and this is simply unavoidable, barring a deep innate talent for the subject. Generally, intuition can get one quickly to the standard of one who learns by rote, and possibly leapfrogging many who do not see the underlying concepts and structures of skills. Emulation, analysis, dissection into components... all aspects of this art of intuition.



Thinking of the blue radiance,
Gently illuminating true wisdom,
Lighting the path to the faceted jewel,
The centre of understanding this dream.
Fear not the light, fear not the dark.
Dream of the knowledge that neither imparts.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Darkness rend thy soul of horror.

Wonder at life, the two-sided coin,
Marvel at hate, the jack of scorn.
Admire the dark, the balance to light,
Witness the dark, that lays in thine soul.
Fear not the darkness, for it is thy friend,
Shun not the evil that lays in thy heart.
Display outward virtue, blaspheme against truth,
Redemption of falsities, deep in the future lies.

Have you
Ever known
A second side to your heart?
That queries
And questions
Every step your conscience takes?
Conscience and morals
Have their antitheses:
Let not they fester, but fuel them to tempest.

A masque for thy true face.
A screen for thy heart.
A barrier for emotions.
A wall for thineself.
Board up the feelings that would otherwise ring true,
Lest they are broadcast and made known to those few.
Those same few that hunt you
And tell you "do good"
Those same few who tame you
To listen to their bid.
Hang all morality!
Cross all deception!
Unveil thy true self! O Servant of Heart!

Have you ever known a person who has a darkness in their heart? A weight that binds them down to hell, chaining them to their fate. Catalysts would be items, or events, or perhaps people; yet those who can quell these ebbs and pulses of the rush of evil: they are the ones who best balance their mental state. Even this comes at a price: A false persona is projected, empty and hollow, a mere husk to respond to the world. Behind the shell, the true self is collapsing, buried under the barrage of miasmic forces of rage. The conscience a mere weapon of light, hopelessly outmatched by the tide of evil.

And still unrent remain their souls, just lost forever in the void of abyssal hate. Nothing reaches them, touches them, moves them, saves them. The physical rejected, the transcendence of a great cost. And increasingly, they turn inwards, lost in their world, the eternal time-consuming task of reshaping their realm, a task so absorbing that one can only take it without a trace of joy. The darkness never wins, the soul never loses... nor sleeps.

Housed in its eternal orbit, the soul of the tormented flits about their astral scape, shying from the darkness at the border and the exclave of light just beyond. An abode of no escape and every door an entrance. A home where no man lives, at least lives like a man. And their body still fully flesh, in our corporeal world, interacting with none of the true intelligence, but an automaton-copy of the subject. This is their danger: There is no conscience, merely a Night Council of advisors, telling them what to do heedless of anything a real person would think.

There comes a point where one must ask: Is anyone truly like that?
And from shell to shell, husk to husk, I respond: Listen not to me, but to the counsel of your head. Detect you the Night Council, that tenuous link we share?
And scream in the knowledge of the Soul's true whereabouts.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

F2P and P2P: Pros vs. Noobs... I mean cons.

Starting off with a quote from J.M. Pescado:
"Have you destroyed a paysite today?"
Less tactfully:
PAYSITES MUST BE DESTROYED!

That said, let's move on. Everyone knows that there are free to play MMOGs out there. Everyone also knows they make money out of "optional" payments for benefits in the game. Everyone also now knows that paysites must be destroyed. A few simple examples to be amusingly noted, of why certain Games Which Must Not be Named fall into the same category:



Game 1: "Flee" (not real name, which is ███████.)
  • "A world three-times larger to explore!"
    • Oh yeah, like walking wasn't already so lag. 3 times the walking, 3 times the fail.

  • "Nine more skills to train!"
    • Can you say grindfest? How about Grindfest +9?
  • "Over 100 more quests to complete!"
    • Oh great. Now you're telling us that it's not just 3 times the walking, it's at least three times the purposeful walking.
All this win for a mere US$5.95. Yep, certainly buying that one. (If you did, don't kill me. If you don't know what this is about, you will not remember this. You WILL NOT REMEMBER.)



Game 2: [REDACTED] (Real name: █████/███ ███ ███.)
  • Well, not much is said outright, but this is certainly the case:
    • Pay and be able to effectively, "cheaply" upgrade items, essential for higher levels.
    • Or don't pay and fork out a couple 10^x █████ to upgrade things just ONCE.
  • Paying also nets you some fashion items (yippee) and random beneficial items to help you with one massive grindfest.
  • You really want to work your way to max level ██ TWICE without paying real money? Because that's how the game works.


Well, that's 2 games I play. Or at least, don't pay for. Maybe I'll add more, maybe not. Just remember: Do your part, DESTROY ALL PAYSITES.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Power.

EDIT 1st August 2009 (Singapore time): ~Submitted for Foyle Young Poets of the Year award~

Mighty troops, march on to war,
Face your enemies on their homeground.
Fear nothing, announce your arrival,
Let them see your might a thousand miles away.

Fly your flags, beat the drums with vigour,
A terrible sight to see for your opponents.
March at day, cease not at night,
Let them hear your charge through the night and day.

Just imagine,
If you were
On the other side, would you
Not fear
The advance,
Of the rumoured forces-

-Storm your way towards your target,
Show no mercy, show no fear.

Charge on, Holy Forces!
Charge on, Mighty Forces!
Charge on, Deadly Forces!
Charge on, Holy Forces!

A countless host, in full reflective armour,
Sunlight thrashing on legions of soldiers.
Tall standards, relentless drum beats,
Shouting your cause to fame across the plains.

What if you were
The enemy,
Would you quake and tremble? what if
You knew
Of the troops,
Marching in to beat you-

-This is war, with only one outcome:
Strike with God's blessing and you will win.

Charge on, Holy Forces!
Charge on, Mighty Forces!
Charge on, Deadly Forces!
Charge on, Holy Forces!

Strike true, Holy Forces!
Strike hard, Blessed Forces!
Strike fear, Gallant Forces!
Charge on, Holy Forces!


This poem, inspired by and adapted slightly from Forces from the anime Berserk.

It's really a powerful song. Listen in awe, to Berserk's Forces. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkYYYew8CUI

Saturday, March 28, 2009

On Music.

Music, yes. One of my lesser vices, if it truly deserves that title. If nothing else, the guitar lurking in my house is glaringly tempting to reach for in the middle of an important piece of work or study. Such inane devices as iPods and handphones are classed as "technology", and are hence deemed too complicated to turn on, let alone blast music on them.

Music can feed and awaken the soul. Particularly those that seem almost composed for that purpose. One of my favourites for entering a trance-like state where it seems that I'm far more relaxed than usual is Cloud Age Symphony; it's relaxing and not at all taxing on the brain.

Music can also enrage people. For example, most modern pop songs sound terrible to my ears. They sound worse when people try to sing off-key. They sound even more horrendous blasted across half an MRT carriage. And they sound downright [DATA EXPUNGED] when rammed unwillingly through everyone's ears via an "advanced" sound system at concerts. Ever wonder about those stampedes at pop concerts? My theory, they were all ignited by angry people trying to find rotten tomatoes (or just about anything) to jam the speakers with.

Being in a musical group, it's also hard to talk about music without talking about playing the same. CANON IN D! A spammable song that can go on for practically all of forever until baryons decay. Crazy songs like RV522 Concerto in A Minor (a minor? Which minor?) where finger incapacitation can be easily achieved by playing the solo at crotchet = 100+. Relaxing pieces like Radical Dreamers (Thanks Aza!) and Blue Bossa chords.

So I didn't really talk much, but this will have to do for a post. Just a random post to clear my systems.